That dude has better tits than me.
Is this blackout going to effect the status of our dessert?
If chillin’ with Diana makes me a buster, what are you? You’re just a trick and a ho.
Why are all sci-fi villains wickedly gay?
Fuck earplugs. You need to stick some toilet paper in them shits.
What do we know about exceptions? They don’t prove rules.
You look like a Mexican Seth Rogen.
Where’d they get all these oversize vegetables?
Sometimes your lap is your best table.
“Doesn’t HIV come before AIDS?” “Duh.” “Shut up, Dr. Phil!”
Extended Family—that would be a great porn title.
You should only speak Spanish in secret.
I wish I didn’t have to remind my friends not to shoplift all the time.
(Courtesy of TimeOut Chicago.)
No comments:
Post a Comment