I gotta go home, watch Everybody Hates Chris and eat like a pig.
We get high or “get our muscles relaxed.” That’s what we call it.
Who doesn’t like to get slapped with a boob?
She can be such an iffy Jehovah’s Witness when she wants to.
It doesn’t make any juice, so there’s nothing really to swallow.
Yo, that ain’t a mutt, bro.
I’m pissed as a Bears fan and as a fantasy owner.
One time, they had a leak, and they asked if we could store their heads in our apartment.
If you call yourself an ice skater, you want a cock in your ass.
I kinda just want to eat the meat.
I’m gonna go to the bathroom so I can fart.
You put the T and A in CTA, girl.
So his hobbies are threesomes and tap dancing?
That’s where my stalker first saw me and started following me.
It’s weird: Sometimes when you’re talking to another person, you forget there’s another person.
I masturbated in Matthew’s Sprite and now he’s crying like a baby.
That’s bullshit. I’m hardly that drunk at work anymore.
It’s true. Tom stole the gold like a dirty Irish leprechaun.
If I’m really gonna die, I’m definitely going on a killing spree before I kick.
Jesus, I love boobs so much.
Like, I could totally join the Aryan Nations.
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