CONSERVATIVES OF THE PAST = thrifty fiscal ideologues with careful consideration of issues tempered by knowledge of the facts and possible religious influence on the social impact of said issues. Decisions are made with a quiet, informed and cautious approach factoring long-term ramifications.

TODAY'S CONSERVATIVES = Hypocritical racist bible-thumping ignoramuses allergic to education and book-learning, with a propensity for incestuous origins. Guns (preferably semi-automatic) are used to defend such ideologies, with rancor and personal angst-ridden sexual deviant issues fueling such hypocrisies.

Logic is shunned at all costs.